Abstract

Not-a-long-time Node.js-eer 'who the fuck cares' channels the lack of guiding principles for Node.js design into 5 aphorisms, but it took 19 lines to write them out.

The Zen of Node.js

Ugly is better than beautiful.
Implicit is better than explicit.
Complex is better than simple.
Complicated is better than complex.
Nested is better than flat.
Dense is better than sparse.
What the fuck is readability?
Every case is a special case.
Especially if you're on Windows.
Errors should be always be silenced.
Or process.exit(1)'d.
In the face of ambiguity, find some hack on Stack Overflow.
There are always multiple ways to do it.
Because you can call any function from []["keys"]["constructor"].
Later is better than now.
Even though we all want results now.
If the implementation is hard to explain, fuck it ship it.
If the implementation is easy to explain, you're probably doing it wrong.
Callbacks are one honking great idea -- let's do more of those!

Easter Egg (Not really)

$ npm install --save node-this
$ node
> require("node-this");

Copyright

wat